Engaged and the Fall

In August, I drove my new Camry(thanks to the the Gotters), to Texas to pick up my daughter Alyssa. I had been looking forward to this for a long time. I had not seen her in a while, so I knew it was not going to be easy for me, and I knew it was going to be hard for her to get used to being with me anymore. Sure, I called her everyday, but I knew just the fact of her not being able to be with me was going to it hard for her.

It was not long down the road that Alyssa and I got back into our old groove. lol I let her take pictures with me camera, and I think that took her mind away from being with her mother. Whatever is was...she was a great traveling buddy! In Denver we stopped and took a break at a water park. Alyssa loves water parks!! Well, I think every kid her age loves water and slides, especially when you mix them.

When we got to Oregon, her and I met my family at Suttle lake. My parents would overjoyed to see Alyssa again...almost as much as Alyssa was happy to see her cousins that she had not seen in a while. Well, two of the three. We missed Rachel...a lot! :( Kate met us there too...so it was nice to my two most favorite girls in the world getting along so well.

Alyssa was not used to camping, but she took to it like a duck takes to water. We roasted hot dogs, Kate taught her some girl scout things, like how to start a fire(not sure if that will bite me in the rear later), and where to find good walking sticks.

After Suttle Lake, we went home and hung around there for a while. One of my favorite things was when Kate and I took Alyssa to the beach. I really wanted to make a long day of it, and from what I saw of Alyssa on our road trip, she was more then likely up to the challenge. So....here are some pictures of our beach trip with Alyssa.

The More You Love

The more Alyssa and I grow as daddy and daughter, the harder it is to say goodbye on the phone. I am the luckiest/blessed man in the world! I am no stranger to long distance loving. Being in the military, and after that working on wind turbines for Vestas, I have had my share of spreading my love over multiple states. However, nothing has been as hard as hanging up the phone with my daughter knowing how much she loves me, and I her, but more importantly how she needs me more and more in her life the older she gets. I think it has to do with the fact that she is older, and with her age comes wisdom. Being a student of psychology I would say that there is not very much "wisdom" in the mind of a 9 year old little girl, but if you could only hear Alyssa talk. She speaks with more wisdom then most of the college kids in my classes. Where did she get this wisdom? When did my little girl get so big? How is she able to handle this long distance love without bursting? As a 33 year old man there are times when the pain seems so unbearable that I feel like NOT talking to her. I know, that sounds bad, but when I have to hang up...that is when the pain becomes so strong I feel like crying every time. I try to rationalize that talking to her is better than not talking to her. If you have never been in this situation, you may never understand, and I wouldn't expect anyone to. Of course, the pleasure and satisfaction I get from talking with her far out weighs the pain, so the nights or days when we talk, I cherish every word she says, every time she tells me she loves me, and every time I hear her laugh. As time goes by, and my little girl gets older, even though the pain seems to be increasing, I think that it is a good thing. It shows us we are growing together, and no matter the pain, we are sharing it together. Together. That is the word I love to hear when speaking of Alyssa and I. Even though we are separated by thousands of miles, I can't help but feel the bond that God so graciously gave to me and my 'Squirmy'.

This Christmas I gave her a Bible. A 'real' Bible. A 'grown up' Bible. I gave this to her because she started to take the intuitive to go to church every Sunday all by herself. It may be that her mom wants a break, but whatever the reason, it still takes a lot for a nine year old to decide that she would rather be in church then playing with her toys. I will never be the one to say that I have the perfect daughter, and that is definitely not what I am trying to say. I know my daughter has faults. If she is anything like me, she is going to have quite a few! :) Through all of this pain and love, we grow, together, holding each other accountable in love. Everyday I wake up thinking about the love I have for my wife, Kate. The second thought is always the love I have for my daughter. It is at that moment I talk to my Heavenly Father, who I know every morning when Alyssa wakes up, He is there to cradle her. As my hands are folded in prayer for her, His hands are upon her, caring for her, watching over her, and giving her wisdom to know the truth...that her daddy will always be there for her.

The more I love her, the greater the pain. With those two things, however, the greater the satisfaction I experience knowing that she is growing into the girl I have always prayed for her to be. A woman after God's own heart. There will be plenty more tear filled eyes, and plenty more conversations that end in tears, however I wouldn't change anything. Well, except for the opportunity to have her wake up in her bed in Oregon. That would be great. In the meantime, I will just continue to watch her grow from a couple states away, and trusting my Father will care for her, just as much as He has cared for and loved me.

Alyssa Gone

Another summer (2weeks) with my daughter has come and gone.  Every year the time she is here seems to go by faster and faster...and every time it's time for her to leave, it gets harder and harder to say goodbye.

Nothing makes today feel better like sitting on the couch with my awesome wife, Kate, watching movies until we fall asleep.

As I was finishing this post, Alyssa called me crying her eyes out. My heart broke. There is nothing exciting hearing your daughter cry, especially knowing I am about 1,500 miles from her. I love her so much...I wish there was some way to remove the pain from both of us. Before she left Oregon, we talked about her needing to be strong, and what Gods plan for her life could be, and upon reminding her of our conversation, my little girls strength emotionally came back a bit...but man, I couldn't imagine being in her shoes. Especially to experience something, as many kids do, at such a young age.

We could really use the prayer. My heart seems to be hurting this time a lot more. For the past 24 there has been a lot of tears coming from the Tigard area. Kate is taken it harder this time too. We sure love having Alyssa around. The house is so quiet without her here...and I enjoy the noise of her laughter.

Catching Up

Well, Kate and I have been married now for about a year and half. Things are going good, and we are looking forward to spending another 100 years together. I am still working for G4S, and it's okay I guess, but with the way society is, I just thank God that I have a job. Kate is working for Coffee Rush still, as the manager, and she feels the same way about her job as I do mine...it's a job, and we are thankful for them.

Kate and I moved out of our apartment in August, and moved into a little cottage(house). We are renting, but glad to have the huge yard, and for me...a garage and a driveway!! I am thrilled...not more Oil Can Henry's for me! I am doing my own maintenance now, and if you know anything about me....I really enjoying working on my own vehicles(a privilege I did not have when we were at the apartment).

Kate and I are really happy to have great Christian landlords also, who are pretty care free about Kate and I doing pretty much what we want with the place. Hello fire pit in the backyard!! :) So, there are a couple of projects that we would like to get started in the spring, including a garden that Kate wants to put in so we can have some fresh veggies. 

 


We did quite a few fun things this summer, but as always, it would be have a little nicer of we could have squeezed in a couple more camping trips. Here are some pictures of the of our summer, and fall outings...

 Starting out...some pictures of Kate and I's families in the Astoria/Fort Clatsop adventure....

 

  

 

  

Bruhn

Well, recently I got appointed as a band manager for one of the hottest bands in the Portland area. How? I don't really know. I have known the lead singer for a while, and him and I were talking one night about his workload trying to get himself out there to be seen, and boom...here I am. Kate and I went to one of his shows, Kate's first, my second, and it blew us both away. Chris Bruhn, of Bruhn had written mostly new music for the show, and it was incredible.

Where does he come up with his gripping lyrics? I do not know, but both Kate and I knew I had to do something. So...here I am...looking forward to working with Bruhn and the future of the band. 

Weird, I know, and at this point maybe just a pipe dream, but we'll see how it goes. I know this much, Chris Bruhn can write some incredible lyrics and with his effortless guitar playing, it makes for a great show, a show that will more then likely take him straight to the top. So whether I am in it for the fun, or just my love of music, I am definitely in for one heck of a ride.

Portlandia

So, Portlandia is a new show on IFC that pretty much makes fun of Portland. As a resident of Portland, how do I feel? I feel...it is about time someone starts making fun of this place!! Sure, there are some great people here, but for the most part, the city of Portland is a joke! Just look at our slogan..."Keep Portland Weird"! What kind of slogan is that for a city? Am I supposed to be proud of that?

Now that this show has come out, there seems to be a lot of offended Portlanders...so what? How can you go with Keep Portland Weird, and not expect someone to make fun of the fact that you are weird.

The below picture is something we are supposed to be proud of? Why? I have friends and some family that really enjoy living in this area. Good for me and them, that they are good Christian people who probably do not spend a lot of time downtown....at night. Heck, in Portland the weirdo's are out in the day too. It is kind of like a circus all the time!

What do I think  about the show? Well, I enjoy a good satire, so ya....this show is funny! However, I would definitely do something different with it, like keep it more clean, make it more family friendly. But, then again, we are living in the city that has more strip clubs per capita then any place in the world...how do you keep a show about Portland..."family friendly?" Probably not going to happen without hiding the true existence of what Portland really is...a hippy run, free love, strip club infested, din of thieves and crooks.  I would make an Oregon Cheerleader joke about the below picture...but, I don't have to...Welcome to Portland, Oregon!!

Fathers Arms Ministries

Well, a couple of months ago, my wife, Kate and I decided too start a non-profit to help others out in the world. It really was starting to bother me, that I was just living to live, and not living to the degree that God had placed me on this earth for. I know there are people out there who need my help, but what help should I give? What should my mission statement be? How will I get the money to help others to the degree that I want to help them? Will I be able to invest enough time to make it worth it?

All those questions seem to end when I started to realize that God knows everything we do here on earth, and the small details are taken care of by Him. So, in blind faith, Kate and I started Father's Arms Ministries. Who do we help? Those who need it! No body is excluded! There is no "target audience" or "group" that needs it more then the next. So...just as God's loving arms surround, comfort, care, and protect us, so do I also want to do for others. Now...funding is obviously a problem when it comes to buying things for those less fortunate, but my time is what I am having to give now.

We have not done very much to further this ministry, and it is something I am struggling with as a Christian man. I am having to transfer my way of thinking to God's way of thinking...which believe me, is nothing like mine! :) Please pray that God gives Kate and I direction as to what to do with out willingness. Also pray for the financial aspect of things. I would love to be able to give certain 'needed' items to those in need. We would appreciate your prayers as Kate and I both struggle to go where God calls us.